Quail Involved in Vice Presidential Shooting Recovers

A fully recovered Quail

Daniel Quail

February 19, 2006
Copyright 2005 BigValleyNews.net

Much national coverage has been given to the hunting accident where Vice President Cheney shot and injured a companion. News reports were prolific about the medical condition of Harry Whittington, Cheney's hunting companion who was accidently shot. Very little coverage has been given to another victim, a quail who was an employee at the Armstrong Ranch in Texas.

Big Valley News has been granted an exclusive interview with Danial Quail (no relation to Dan Quayle) who was seriously injured during the incident.

Mr. Quail, who has been employed at the ranch since Spring 2005 suffered serious injuries from what he refers to as "small bore lawyer shot". Mr Quail was quick to point out that "small bore" does not refer to the gun size, but refers to the lawyer. 

Mr. Quail was hit by several pellets which severely injured his right wing (refers to his flying appendage, not his political leanings) and near the gizzard. A local veteranarian who is well known for treating hawks, eagles, buzzards and vultures was Mr. Quail's doctor.  He stated that it is doubtful that Mr. Quail will ever be able to restore his full soaring abilities, particularly at high altitude. Quail responded " That's alright, we quails have never been known for our soaring abilities."

Quail spent several days at a field hospital in the field where he was shot. He complained that being an employee at a private hunting ranch, medical coverage was not part of his pay. All expenses had to be endured my me, and "that ain't chicken feed!". Quail also informed us that "Although my job (target) is a very dangerous job, I am not eligible for hazard pay." "I am thinking of entering politics to campaign for better health care and social conditions, not only for us quail, but for everyone!" "No one should have to go through the pain and suffering I went through.". 

Quail also wished to express his sympathy for the pain and suffering endured by the Vice President. Asked if his sudden national exposure could allow him to run for President of the United States, he said "Although I am flattered that you even mention the possibility of me becoming President, I really don't feel that the American people would ever again elect a bird brain as President".